Marching Band for Morons
by PhantomPenguin
Summary: COMPLETE! Anything and everything that you could possibly want to know about marching band, comprised into a satirical parady of a how-to book.
1. Introduction

Marching Band for Morons was born one day when I was rather bored. I figured that there were enough Idiot's Guides and Dummies books about random subjects that marching band deserved its own "how to" manual. This is meant entirely in jest; I _adore_ marching band. Any snide comments are made completely in fun. With that said, please enjoy!

* * *

Marching band: (MAR-ching Band) A body of students that engages in the act of moving about a football field in various formations, while also playing (or attempting to play, in some cases) a variety of instruments.

In other words, it is a band that marches.

There are a great many things that you should probably know when you join marching band. However, they are also the things that nobody will ever get around to telling you.

They're not the normal, bandish things, like how fast you should be able to march, or how good of a player you should be. No, they're odd little tidbits like how much sugar/caffeine you need to ingest in order to keep going for eighteen hours of the day (three sodas at regular intervals with some chocolate and pixie stix thrown in about halfway through), or the funny personality quirks many sections seem to possess.

Thus_, Marching Band for Morons_ was born, telling you all of the things you ever need to know about band (and probably more...).

This guide covers many topics (somewhat sarcastically), such as:

-Band camp (or boot camp, as it is "fondly" called)

-The brass (the BEST part of the band)

-The woodwinds (eh, they're okay…)

-The percussion (which serves as a source of both constant irritation and entertainment)

-The colorguard (very nice in their own way, but oh-so-scary in others)

-Football games (ahh, concessions, halftime shows, and stand music…oh, and the football, I suppose)

-Competitions (fun, but a horrendously long day)

-Parades (I would say "Yay," but I'd be lying)

-Bus rides (one of the best parts)

-Directors and drum majors (the heart of the band)

The very first thing you need to know about marching band starts with the first (and most important step): signing up. Before you decide that you are definately joining, think about what you are doing; you are selling your SOUL to your band director, and you _will not_ get it back.

For four to five grueling, torturous months, you belong to the drum majors and directors, answering to their every will and whim. By the end of band season, they could tell you to pick your nose and you would--well, maybe not pick your nose, but you get the idea.

Anyway, you need to consider what you're signing up for. Think to yourself, "Do I really want to subject myself to endless hours of marching, sore lips, concussion/death by guard flag/saber, etc?" If your answer is yes, then you belong in band (or a nice, padded room. Your call, though).

It's not all about the bad things, though. Band is a great experience; you get to meet new people, visit new places, and, best of all, you get into every football game free of charge.

However, there are some things you should be wary of when you join your local marching band. As a freshman, you are new to the band, and are therefore considered "fresh meat." Throughout the band season, you will be subjected to various indignities such as rookie night/week/some sort of embarrassing initiation, or, my favorite, being told that your plume is on backwards. For the sake of the upperclassman who tells you that, fall for it. It will make them happy.

You tend to get a lot of diversity people-wise in a marching band. There are usually a few kids who only sign up because they are forced to, or because they just want to go on the band trip (the rest of the band ends up detesting them). Then there are those who are really into band, but who lack the skills necessary to communicate with the rest of the human race (they can be REALLY annoying).

There are also those who believe that they are THE best marcher, or THE best player, and who spend the entire season attempting to correct the rest of the band (and usually they're the one's messing up).

Last but not least, you have the band geeks and the...somewhat band geeks. Band geeks are completely into the music and marching, and generally get along with everybody. While they _can_ have lives outside of band, you'll find that most of them don't. Somewhat band geeks are the ones who play the music well and march pretty well, but only consider band something they do after school.

Consider the band as a salad. Somewhat band geeks are the lettuce, and are therefore the most common. Band geeks and the unwilling are the tomatoes and carrots, and the annoying are the cucumbers. The "really-into-band-but-socially-deprived" are the dressing; depending on the band (or salad), they can either be plentiful or in short supply. The guard members are tomatoes, as, much like said fruit, you either like them or you don't.

Oh, and the percussion...they're beyond all of the bizzare analogies above...they can be the croutons, because croutons rock.

Now, aforementioned weird analogies aside, marching band puts all other school activities to shame. Football pales in comparison to this activity of champions...okay, okay...most bands are shunted to the side as the football team basks in the limelight...but band is STILL BETTER!

Remember that. Marching band OWNS football.

...good luck convincing everyone else, though...

* * *

Go to chapter two for the next installment of this guide: Brass Almighty (guest-starring trumpets, mellophones, trombones, baritones, and sousaphones)


	2. Brass Almighty

I actually updated somewhat on time...the world is coming to an end! Anyway, without further ado, I present to you the second chapter of Marching Band for Morons. Enjoy.

* * *

Brass: (Br-ASS) A motley assortment of students who play (or in the case of some sections, attempt to play) an instrument in the brass family.

To put it in layman's terms, they are the people who play with the mouthpieces and the shiny instruments.

Before we talk about the different sections (of which there are five), there are a few very basic things about brass players (and their instruments) that you should probably know.

First of all, there aren't many things worse than a tone deaf brass player. A tone-deaf woodwind player doesn't always mean the end of the world, as long as somebody else is there to tune them. Brass players, however, are another matter entirely. They have to play different notes on the same fingerings or slide positions, but in different partials. If they're tone deaf, half the time they end up on the wrong partial/note.

Not a good thing for the band as a whole, but _very_ entertaining for the observing individual.

Another thing you should be wary of with brass players is that they don't mind emptying their spit anywhere (and that really does mean ANYWHERE). They love to empty their spit in front of (or on) woodwinds, because most woodwind players find it _disgusting_ (it's one of the funniest things to watch).

Or, if it's windy, sometimes they'll empty their spit into the wind to see who it will hit.

Another word of warning: if you must sit on the band floor, sit on the floor near the woodwind areas. Enough said.

There are five different instruments that make up the brass section, and they are:

**_-Trumpets_**

The trumpets are a rather diverse section of the band; you've got quiet ones, funny ones, perverted-–well, actually it seems like most trumpets are perverted…and egocentric…Moving on, the trumpet section is usually divided into three playing parts, as it's usually one of the biggest sections in the band.

There is the first part, which involves screeching high notes, loud notes, loud screeching high notes, deafness on the rest of the band's part, and solos; the trumpets always, always, _always_ get the solos.

It's an unspoken rule: If there's a brass solo/duet/etc, then it _will _be a trumpet solo/duet/etc (or involve at least one trumpet).

Then, there are the second and third trumpet parts. Those playing these parts usually play the "basically-the-melody-just-without-the-actual-melody" part; in short, they usually play the general rhythm that the firsts play, just different notes so that it harmonizes and gives you pretty (or harsh, if the circumstances call for it) chords. Voila! Instant trumpet choir.

The ratio of guy to girl trumpets is relatively equal. I would say that it is like that to maintain a balance of sanity, but the trumpet girls are just as crazy as the guys. As brass instruments go, the trumpets are by far the lightest, and therefore learn very early on not to complain about the weight of their instrument when they're around other brass sections.

While marching on the band field, there are a few things that you should keep in mind about trumpets:

-Try not to get a place directly in front of them (although you really have no say, so good luck), as you will most likely be deaf by the end of the season

-The trumpets almost always have the melody

-The band directors WILL run through a set who knows _how_ many times just for the sake of correcting the trumpets, because, of course, they have the melody

-If the trumpets are playing too loud, the rest of the brass just isn't playing loud enough

-If the trumpets are playing too quietly, the rest of the brass is playing too loud

*A note to the enterprising trombone player: If you're sick of playing boring harmony and rhythm parts, nick a trumpet part. You can play trumpet music by taking off two flats (or adding sharps, if there are no flats) and playing the music as if it's written in tenor cleff (if you can't read that, just take the notes up two lines).

It's fun to watch the band director when he/she realizes a trombone is playing the trumpet part (and it's even funnier when they're better than the trumpets).

**_-Mellophones_**

Ahh, the mellophones. The marching equivalent of French horns (have you ever tried to march a French horn? ...neither have I, but it's probably not fun), the mellophone section generally consists of French horn players (no duh).

Basically, a mellophone looks like a big trumpet or a small marching baritone, and mellophone players play use trumpet fingerings when playing, making the mellophone a very confused instrument.. Mellophone players must be relatively good, as they have parts that are very important to the band's performance. Plus, a badly-played mellophone is just painful to listen to (trust me on this one).

Mellophones are also given solos, but for some reason people seem to like trumpet solos better.

The mellophone section can either be very small or large section, depending on your band. Usually, there are a few more guys than girls, but, like the section size, that can vary.

The mellos tend to be one of the crazier (as in world-domination crazy) sections in the band. They're usually quiet, and are one of the few sections who actually get praised for doing something right.

The next time you see a mellophone player, sit and observe them. They're very quiet, aren't they, just sitting there and talking amongst themselves. However, what really goes on inside their heads?

What are they _really_ thinking?

Probably not good, happy, obedient thoughts like the band director so unassumingly believes; no, instead they're probably thinking sarcastic thoughts about the low brass (or even you...), or plotting the mellophone world order (and it has come close to being reality).

Five ways to identify a mellophone in their natural environment (the local high school):

-They're quiet. _Too _quiet

-They're crazy. _Too_ crazy

-They have they're own little "mellophone cult", or slogan (it has happened)

-They march correctly

**_-_**They see all of the other sections as inferior

**_-Trombones:_**

A registered weapon in forty nine out of the fifty states (plus Puerto Rico and Guam), the trombone is one of the deadliest instruments in the band. Not only can trombones knock you flat if you get too close, but where clarinets are wood and trumpets are horny, trombones can do it in seven positions (...okay, okay. No more innuendo, I promise...).

As proven by the above (and the fact that yours truly is a trombonist), the trombones are a rather perverted section (and crazy to boot). They are a diverse little section, ranging from perverted, sarcastic, and band geekish to perverted, sarcastic, and not giving a crap about anything. Most of them are more along the lines of the latter.

For those who don't know (although it would be pretty pathetic if you didn't), a trombone is a brass instrument that has a long slide that players use to change notes, as opposed to the valves the rest of the brass use.

There are usually quite a few more boys than girls in the trombone section, but the girls brave enough (or lacking enough sense) to be in this section usually thrive. Sometimes the trombone guys can be saner than the girls...

The trombones are always picked on for their playing. According to the directors, they can never play loud enough, and they can never play soft enough. On rare occasions, the trombones do get the melody (I know...hard to believe). Of course, in the rare times that this actually happens, the song ends up not being used (typical...)

To continue the tone-deaf brass rant, tone-deaf trombones are about the worst you can get. They can miss the slide position completely and still not notice. It's still really funny to watch if they're oblivious to it, especially when it's one of your section leaders.

Reasons to be wary of trombones:

-If they're marching near you and they dislike you, it would probably be in your best interest to wear a hard hat and body armor

-They are very immature (as demonstrated by their tendancy to randomly burst into song, and their rather lewd jokes)

-They get bored easily (...and bad things happen when they're bored)

-Marching near them in general is probably not good for your health (physical, mental, or other)

_**-Baritones:**_

The baritones are a rather unique group. They're a combination of the trombones and the tubas, with a dash of something else (I suppose baritone) thrown in as well. They're perverted, crazy, and most of them could care less about...well, a lot of things.

This is a section really lacking in girls. When it comes to low brass instruments, you get way more girls playing trombone, and even tuba, than you do baritone. It's really quite odd.

Even when not caring, the baritones usually try to march and play their best (usually being the operative word). However, they love to talk, and tend to get in trouble for doing so a bit more than they should.

If there were a brass section to respect due to the weight of their instruments (aside from the sousas, of course) it would _definately _be the baritones. The instruments themselves aren't extremely heavy, but having to carry one for ten-ish minutes straight can be extremely exhausting.

The baritones generally play a rhythmic part (like the tubas), but they also get the melody quite a bit too. The baritones also get grouped with the trombones a lot, and they're together in sectionals, squads, even music parts. This grouping can get rather annoying for the trombones. In concert band, the baritones (for some still-unknown reason) actually tend to get the melody more than the trombones.

Beware of:

-Their marching (they get out of step a lot)

-Their playing (they like to play LOUD)

-Their sense of humor (a lot of things are funny to them that _normal _people don't find humorous)

-Basically, just beware of the baritones

_**-Sousaphones:**_

Ahh, the sousas. The marching equivalents of tubas, sousaphones are basically giant tubas that wrap around the shoulder of the player. You must respect the sousaphone players for two reasons: one, they have to carry around an insanely heavy instrument on their back, and two, they're such a perfect blend of stupidity and craziness that you have to.

The sousas are the section of the greats, the intellectuals--well, maybe not. No, the sousas are the wild things of the brass, and they could really care less what the rest of the band does.

They alternate between tormenting the band director by talking/playing out of turn, and by forgetting their music, drill sheet, or various parts of their instrument (or the instrument itself).

If ever there were an award for the most forgetful section (in regards to marching band necessities), it would go to the sousas. They are notorious for forgetting bits, mouthpieces, even their sousaphones.

That's not to say that all sousas are forgetful, however; it's only saying most of them are (usually, though, it's more along the lines of them being "forgetful" to torment the director).

For having to march around with gigantic instruments on their backs, the sousas are pretty good marchers (staying in step wise, at least; covering down and lateral sliding...not so much).

Things you should never, EVER give sousaphones:

-Mace

-Alcohol

-Sugar

-Anything flammable

-Valve oil (otherwise it will be found slathered on the band room floor)

And there you have it. Together, these five (_very) _special sections make up the awesomeness that is the brass. They don't always get along, and they may not seem like much, but together they can do anything!

…or, at least anything that involves fire, sugar, explosions, or chaos.

You'd probably be better off not betting on their marching or playing.

* * *

Yay! Another chapter down...next up, the woodwinds (who I suppose aren't_ that_ bad).


	3. Woodwind Invasion

Chapter three is finally up!! Woot! And to think, it only took two and a half weeks...actually, that's not half bad by my standards...Anywho, chapter three is all about the woodwinds, who, even though they aren't _nearly_ as cool as the brass, are still pretty awesome (...okay, so maybe I'm a little biased...).

Anyway, on with the chapter!

* * *

Woodwinds: (WOULD-winds) A diverse group of students who spend their years in band attempting to communicate through a series of shrill squeaks and squawks.

…or, I suppose you could say that they're the students in a band whose instruments are played with reeds (minus the flutes) and many keys.

When it comes to sound, the woodwinds, while not nearly as loud as the brass, can still manage to be equally deadly. They have the unnerving ability to play at incredibly high frequencies that the rest of the band can only dream of hitting. Although, in retrospect, they would probably be nightmares. I'm pretty sure the piccolos could double as dog whistles.

The woodwinds are quite a formidable bunch. They are constantly arguing with the brass about who is the better section, standing with their belief that "woodwinds kick brass." Obviously, this is a lie.

The three main woodwind instruments seen in marching band are flutes, clarinets, and saxophones; you occasionally get oboes, but not many, and most bassoonists prefer not to march (and really, can you blame them?) This chapter will give you the rundown on the three woodwind families above, and the different types (i.e., baritone saxes, bass clarinets, etc.)

_**-Flutes:**_

Flutes are long, narrow instruments that are played horizontally and that usually play in a _very _high range.

A lot of people in the band tend to look down on the flutes and piccolos, saying that they have an easy instrument to march with, or that the flute is a girly instrument, which goes to show just how ignorant they really are; you have to have some incredibly awesome arm strength and endurance to play flute or piccolo.

However, there do tend to not be many guy flute players (for reason, see above stereotype).

Flutes have a beautiful sound, but they can be a bit…shrill…at times. _A lot_ of their music is played above the staff, so be wary. They almost always have the melody, sometimes even more so than the trumpets (it's a sign of the apocalypse!).

A lot of bands also have piccolos as well as flutes. A piccolo is basically a mini-flute, that is –wait for it –even shriller than the flute (I know...is it even possible?!); that's not to say that it doesn't (usually) sound good, though. However, it does become a bit trying on the ears after a while. In general, flute/piccolo players are the happy, bubbly ones of the band. They can get rather snippy, though, and tend to have the most problems amongst the members of their section than any other section in the band.

Overall, though, the flutes are cheerful, and very fun to be around.

Woe to you if you give them sugar.

Five things that a flute/piccolo can be used for:

-A fencing sword (unfortunately, most flutists are a bit touchy about random people using their instrument as a sword…I can't imagine why)

- A weapon of mass destruction (they can just stand in the midst of glass objects and play their highest note…)

-A guard saber or rifle (I know flutes who have tried this…)

-A club (…ouch…)

-A paperweight (couldn't resist…)

_**-Clarinets**_

When it comes to the easiest instrument to march with, the clarinet would have to be it.

Have you ever held a clarinet? It's as light as a piece of driftwood. _Driftwood_, people! How easy would it be to march if your instrument weighed as much as a piece of _driftwood_ (…although I suppose there _is_ such a thing as heavy driftwood…)?!

With that being said, however, the clarinets always have a rather hard part playing-wise. What they gain in having an incredibly light instrument, they lose in the amount of keys on it, and the difficulty of their part.

This section usually has a few more guys than the flutes, but they are still always incredibly outnumbered by the girls.

Temperament-wise, the clarinets are somewhat similar to the flutes; they're usually cheerful and fun to be around, sometimes to the point where you want to hurt them. Okay, okay..._usually _to the point where you want to hurt them. Clarinets are also gifted with extreme lungpower. They can scream and yell and talk louder than any other section in the band, and they don't hesitate to demonstrate this ability. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Another variety of clarinet that also commonly appears in marching (and concert) bands is the bass clarinet. This is a clarinet that is a bit harder to march with (although they do get neck straps) because of the fact that it weighs a bit more (probably about the weight of a alto sax).

Despite its name, the bass clarinet is a treble clef instrument (the bass part of it always tends to mislead people). Bass clarinet players are quite similar to normal clarinet players; the only difference is they're probably a bit more random and perverted.

How to torment/annoy clarinet players (could apply to other woodwinds as well):

To be performed by brass players:

-Threaten to empty your spit on them.

-_Really _empty your spit on them.

To be performed by woodwind players:

-Get one of your brass friends to empty their spit on your chosen clarinet target.

To be performed by anybody:

-Take their clarinet apart.

-Hide the pieces.

-Have a sword fight with the pieces (or the whole thing).

_**-Saxophones**_

The saxophone section is made of three different instruments: the alto sax, the tenor sax, and the baritone sax.

They are all incredibly crazy.

They are all incredibly perverted.

They are also incredibly LOUD.

The saxes are an interesting bunch, though. The altos, of course, get their fair share of solos and the melody, while the tenors tend to play a part that coincides with that of the trombones/baritones and, occasionally, the bass clarinets or tubas. The bari saxes usually play the same part as the tubas.

Also, like the tuba, baris are incredibly heavy. You have to have some serious arm strength to haul one of those things around the field.

A lot of the saxophones' time in band is spent studiously ignoring everybody who is not a saxophone. In their eyes, anybody who isn't a saxophone is beneath them. They also like to talk, throw things, and, on occasion, play.

That is not to say, though, that they aren't any good. On the contrary, the saxophones tend to be the best marchers and players in the band.

The number of guys and girls in the saxophones tends to be pretty even; it doesn't really matter, though, as they're all crazy. They also tend to be pretty imaginative and creative. For example, the band could be split up into squads, and you could find the saxophones executing some odd drill formation that has nothing to do whatsoever with the show…and then, for some reason, the band director would love it.

Even though they can be crazy, the saxes are an awesome section that does (sometimes) know how to be focused.

Things you should never teach a saxophone:

-Lame pick-up lines.

-New swear words (though they probably know them all…)

-How to play a brass instrument (teach them _another_ loud instrument? Are you out of your mind?)

-How to play the drums (see above)

…And there is your woodwind section! Quite an interesting bunch, aren't they? On the off chance you need to identify a band member as a woodwind, here are some things you could look for:

-The tell-tale neckstrap tanline (located on all saxophones and bass clarinets)

-The fingerless band gloves (property of the flutes and clarinets)

-A superiority complex when it comes to anything brass (it's actually misplaced envy)

...okay, maybe the brass aren't _that_ much better than the woodwinds...

...on OPPOSITE DAY!

* * *

To all of you woodwind players, thanks for being good sports and putting up with us lunatics in the brass making fun of you. Have a cookie!

Next up, the drumline and color guard. I have a question for you guys, though. I was originally planning on making the drumline and color guard segment one chapter, but now I'm thinking I should split them up. What do you think?


	4. Drumline

A new chapter finally joins the old!! I apologize for the two-month hiatus. Soccer invaded my life, and hasn't let me rest until now...our season's nowhere near over, but I'm slowly getting used to managing my time. Anywho, everyone that reviewed said (as I had already been considering) to do the percussion and colorguard chapters seperately.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the percussion!

* * *

Percussion: (Per-cu-SHUN; rhymes with concussion, although sometimes the two are one in the same). The group of students who are in the band, but who are "too cool" to _really_ be in the band. They bang (and not always on drums), and play a wide variety of instruments.

Okay…where to begin…Well, for starters, the percussion of a marching band is divided into two sections: the drumline and the pit.

They are both essential to the success of your marching band, which means you should be _very_ afraid for the sake of your competitive season; however, most percussionists are actually quite serious when performance time rolls around.

**_Pit_**

The pit is a very unique section in the band. Often forgotten, the pit members are nevertheless envied by the rest of the band during band camp for their inevitable lack of movement. However, that's not to say that they don't work. They have to memorize their music just like the rest of the band. To them, it's probably easy. To the wind players, well…we wonder how they and the drumline manage to do it.

The behavior of the pit is like that of all drummers, and it only truly differs from the battery in its different role in the show. The pit members themselves either love their place in the band or hate it. Some students in the pit enjoy playing stationary instruments, while others would much rather be out on the field marching. This view comes mainly from their grade in school: Some bands place all freshmen percussionists in the pit and let the upperclassmen march, while others have upperclassmen in their pit to ensure a good sound.

As for the instruments, the pit consists of many diverse instruments, most of which are the main percussion instruments in concert band.

You have the gong (which most of the band enjoys randomly hitting), the timpani (a percussion instrument that actually needs tuning), the xylophone (another favorite toy of the wind players), the chimes (they sound awesome!!), and the suspended and crash cymbals (CRASH!!). Along with those listed above, there are many other pit instruments as well; I'm just too lazy to talk about them.

Out of personal experience, tribute must be paid to the pit players for dragging all of those heavy instruments about (some band directors use being responsible for the pit equipment as a punishment, and use it on "misbehaving sections"). Also, respect the pit for its incredibly repetitive warm ups...wind players don't even have to play them to get sick of them.

As for those in the pit, they are all--as drummers tend to be--completely insane.

Ways the pit can make your life miserable:

-Stand in the shade practicing their music while the rest of the band is marching in the hot sun (this can sometimes apply to the drumline as well)

-Find a way to convince the band director that they need "help" carrying their instruments back to storage

-Block the only entrance to the band field taking their instruments back to storage

-Move _verrrrrrrrrrry _slowly while doing so

-Be themselves…no, I'm kidding. The pit rule!

**_-Drumline_**

Oy...this should be interesting...

The drumline is the superglue that holds the band together...the insane, special in SO many different ways superglue. Without them, the show would be nothing. The band would get out of step, screw up the tempo, phase, and so on.

If a drummer is really dedicated (and this goes for the pit as well) they will constantly be drumming on any hard surface available. They'll drum on tables, on desks, on the floor, and, quite possibly, on you, if no other surface is available (or sometimes even when one is).

The drumline is like its own little nation. Where the rest of the band is the United States (Civil War reference incoming, beware…), the drumline would be the Confederate States; still a part of the U.S., but not always considering itself so.

The drummers are either "too cool" to be glomped together with the wind players, or…no, that's pretty much their opinion.

In the drumline, you have three main marching drums; the bass, the tenor, and the snare.

The basses vary in size; unless I'm mistaken, there are seven different sizes, with each making a progressively lower sound. They all look as though they would cause severe back problems. I bet the bassists' chairopractors love them.

The tenors are heavy as _crap_. They consist of four to six drums that are placed together in a frame. Each drum has a different pitch; they're probably the coolest-sounding out of the marching drums. Along with being heavy, they're also hard to play.

Finally, you have the snares. The snares are the lightest of the drums to march with, but one of the hardest to play. They have the hardest rhythms to play (although the tenor's parts are usually complex as well), and are the ones that, along with the basses, help subdivide the beat and keep the band in step.

Because of the way that they carry their instruments, the drumline doesn't march like the rest of the band. Instead of doing forwards and backwards roll steps (and practicing them over, and over, and over, and over….), the drumline marches in a kind of crossover step.

The drumline is a force to be reckoned with, and the band would most certainly fall apart without it's steady tempo.

Despite the fact that they hold themselves above the rest of the band, the drummers are usually quite friendly with the colorguard…probably because they end up dating...

Well, not all of the percussion…there are quite a few girls in this section as well. It's generally a male-dominated section, but there are always a few girls daring enough to brave the extreme testosterone and idiocy to join the drumline/pit (kudos to you!!).

Stupid things that you wouldn't expect someone to _ever _do that the drumline probably has:

-Make a homemade taser (it's happened, believe me…)

-Attack each other _with_ the homemade taser

-Go commando under the band uniform (others outside of the percussion have done this as well…)

-Molest stuffed animals (okay, so maybe I exaggerate…)

-Throw candy out the window of the band bus at passing cars

Overall, the percussion is by far one of the most…interesting…sections in the band. The drummers have their own little cult that is beyond anything else in the band, and probably anything in this world...

They are the ones who hold the band together, and we would be lost without them.

To all you percussionists out there, never stop banging!!

* * *

A new chapter, finally!! Woot! Up next: the one, the only, the COLORGUARD!


	5. Sabers and Rifles and Flags, Oh My!

I posted a new chapter within less than a week of my last update...wow! I'm so proud. You must be wondering what the heck is wrong with me..fear not, I'll probably be back to my procrastinating ways soon :p

Anyway, I managed to write a chapter devoted fully to the colorguard, and here it is, in all its glory!

_Edit_: Thanks to BlackWolfHowling, who alerted me to a few things that I should fix...I figured that since my knowledge of colorguard isn't quite up to par, I would use the info that she gave me to make this chapter better.

Enjoy!

* * *

Colorguard: (Cul-or-GARD) One of the most important sections in the band, and also one of the deadliest, due to its members' unnerving ability to drop/not catch/magically avoid grabbing their flag/saber/rifle. Sometimes they also take the "Oh, it was an accident" route as well.

Contrary to some band member's opinions, the colorguard is a very important part of the band (yes, even despite guard members' constant attempts at murder…they _claim_ that they didn't mean to hit you, but are they really telling the truth…?)

Anyway, the guard is an essential part of any marching band. It helps to set the mood of the show: If your show has a happy theme, the guard members are usually wearing bright colors and doing their best to portray the theme through their actions. Basically, they are telling a story through their actions, and it is their job to perform the show in a way that you have no doubts as to the show's premise. They interpret the music that the band plays through their performance.

You would most likely assume that the guard would be made up of all girls; however, this is not entirely true. In some bands, the number of male guard members can be greater than the number of female guard members. If your band has some male guard members, you should watch them practice sometime; more often than not, they're even better than the girls.

Credit also has to be given where credit is due: the guard practices A LOT. They usually start before band camp, and can usually be found staying after the rest of the band has gone home.…that either spells out extreme dedication, or a sadistic perfectionist of a guard instructor (with the latter being the more likely).

In the colorguard, there are usually three general sections: the flags, the sabers, and the rifles.

_**Flags**_:

The flags are pretty self-explanatory…they're large pieces of colorful fabric attached to a long, heavy, usually-metal pole, whose direction and usage on the field is controlled (somewhat) by a guard member. One word in particular--from a marcher's perspective--comes to mind to describe the flags: painful.

Actually, the guard members throwing the flags or learning to throw (and/or spin) the flags would probably agree with the painful part…people can get black eyes from those things. Also, if the fabric part of the flag is especially long, it can potentially fly into the face of an innocent and unsuspecting marcher, temporarily blinding them.

These large, somewhat heavy pieces of guard equipment require some skill to handle. They're constantly being tossed and spun about the field throughout the show, and are usually handled quite well. There's always that one gust of wind, though…

The flags are cool because they can always be altered appearance-wise to fit the show theme—for example, if the theme is, say, music from _The Lion King_, you could get flags that were in a savannah theme (reds, oranges, browns, etc.)

_**Sabers:**_

The sabers, to the rest of the band, are probably the coolest of the guard equipment (don't roll your eyes…you _know_ that at one point in your life you've wanted to have a sword fight with them).

Sabers are basically how they sound: long, white, and sword-like. These, too, are painful. They can change direction rather easily while in the air, and do not always land where they're supposed to.

Oddly enough, it seems as though a lot of the saber…ists…drop their sabers at practice, but nail every catch come performance time. It's an interesting method, but, hey, whatever works!

_**Rifles:**_

One word comes to mind with the rifles: ouch. Even when they don't come into contact with you, they just look painful to catch. They're not incredibly heavy, but when you're learning how to spin them and throw fives and sixes, those bruises really add up.

The rifles look like…rifles, basically, just white (the color can change depending on the tape) and with a strap along the underside.

Rifles are not, despite what the band ignorant may think, used in the context that their name implies. Instead, they are spun, thrown, and moved in a complex series of patterns in synchronization/correlation with the flags and sabers, creating an amazing overall effect.

The costumes of the guard are also rather ornate; they're designed to bring out and illustrate the theme of the music, and can sometimes be very interesting (just ask the boys in the band). While on the field, the guard moves from form to form in a jazz run (jazz runs will be covered in depth in a few chapters).

Also, the guard members are the ones who are forced to move the props throughout the show...if you are in colorguard, your arm strength is probably amazing; constantly throwing (and dropping...) flags, rifles, and sabers, and towing props across a football field would definitely contribute.

As a whole, the colorguard is a force to be reckoned with. They are also crazy, and should be avoided at all cost by the sane. Seeing how the term sane could never apply to anyone in band, if you have come into direct contact with a member of the colorguard, you should be alright.

Ways to tell that the colorguard have been/are in the near vicinity:

-You light a match in the bathroom and it blows up (the bathroom…and the match, I suppose)

-You see a horde of girls (and occasionally one or two guys) with distinct tan lines on their wrists from gloves.

-Some of the drumline have disappeared.

-There are a new collection of black eyes and bruises amongst the band.

-The low brass is having a swordfight with sabers and is being pursued by angry girls.

-It appears as if a container of glitter exploded.

When seen in a performance with the whole band, the guard really stands out. They strive for perfection, and come very close to achieving it...usually... Sometimes, they're so good at one part that the band is bad at that the directors will use the guard as a distraction, pulling the crowd's (and, more importantly, the judges') attention away from the band.

One thing about the guard is certain; it would be _very_ quiet in the band without them.

Where's the fun in a boring, uneventful marching season??

Then again...

* * *

Well, that pretty much does it for the section chapters. I've got one more chapter planned out for drum majors and band directors, and then it's on to the actual marching and band parts :p


	6. Directors! Or is it Dictators?

I actually updated somewhat on time! I think I'm falling into a schedule, which is either good or bad...I haven't decided yet. Anyway, here is a chapter dedicated entirely to the authority figures of the band.

Enjoy!

* * *

Directors: (DIE-rect-ors) The ones who are both in control of and controlled by the band.

Drum Majors: (Drum-MAY-jur) Students who are pretty much in charge of the band, and have to stand on a podium for countless hours in practice waving their arms about in an attempt to control the band's movements.

In marching band, there is a strict social pyramid; at the bottom, you have the lowly freshmen, the newcomers to the band. Above the freshmen, you have the sophomores, and so on. At the very top of this "band pyramid," you have the dictators of the marching band: the directors.

Slightly below the main director, you have the assistant band directors, who are basically the same, but usually teach at the local middle/junior high schools. Below the band directors you have the drum majors, who are students that can (usually) conduct, and who the band directors trust to be in charge.

_**Directors:**_

Ah, the band directors…you either love them, or you hate them (although you usually manage both during your marching career). During your tenure as a band geek, you will see your band director A LOT; they can be found in your band class, at your marching band practices, lurking by the field on competition days, at football games, at parades, at auditions, on the band bus, on the band field, and sometimes even at the grocery store (the scariest encounter of them all).

He/she will also be the one to yell at you for the various misdemeanors that you may (actually, that you _will_) perform, such as forgetting your instrument, breaking your instrument, breaking someone else's instrument, getting out of step, causing a mass collision, and so on.

They are the ones who control the rehearsal; therefore, when you are running through a set "one more time" before you head home, you know whom to blame. With that being said, nearly every band director has a pretty good sense of humor. You pretty much have to if your job involves crazy teenagers and loud instruments.

The band director is the one who has the most say in picking out the show, so you had better pray that they have good taste in show music.

If there is one thing in this world that band students fear, it is the wrath of the director. I'm not talking about him/her merely getting annoyed, I'm referring to when they hit their boiling point: red face, hypothetical steam pouring out of ears, and so on (if your band director is usually a loud person, signs could include them getting _extremely _quiet)…signs also include slamming doors, kicking sabers, and stomping around. It _beyond_ frightening.

Then, however, they have days where they are the epitome of kindness, and let you out of practice early (for some reason, however, this occurrence is very rare). If you have a younger director, chances are that at _some _point in time, _somebody_ will have a crush on them….

The band directors of the world all have a universal best friend: the metronome. This _lovely_ device keeps the time during the song, keeping you in step (good luck arguing that that's what the drums are for...it doesn't work). It will haunt you throughout your entire band career (marching and concert). However, it _is_ essential to marching band when practicing without the percussion, as the beat is what a lot of the band uses (when they're not performing) to stay in step…how many people can honestly say that they've gone solely off the drum majors for an entire show?

Band directors are under the impression that loud, doctored beats are the way of the future…you want my opinion? Stay with the drums (or a little ahead of the drums, technically) and all will be well.

Also in the category of directors, you have the assistant directors, marching instructors, the guard instructors, and the percussion instructors. The assistant directors either teach at the high school with the director, or they teach at the local middle/junior high/intermediate schools. They are exactly like the head director, only they're…not. They also tend to be more laid back than the head director (usually).

The marching instructor is a person the band can come to dislike. Not all bands have them, but they really do contribute to the band's overall marching abilities. The marching instructor is usually perfection-oriented, but they are a great asset to the band. As you can obviously discern from the title, the marching tech/instructor teaches the band how to march correctly. His/her idea of fun generally involves working on fundamentals over, and over, and over, and over again.

The guard instructor, as stated in the preceding chapter, is usually sadistic in the fact that he/she does their very best to work the guard for hours on end. Nevertheless, if you have a good guard instructor, this will pay off come competition time. A good guard instructor is one who is basically adopted by the guard. By the end of the season, they will all have somehow acquired his/her phone number, know where he/she lives, and be able to tell you exactly what he/she is doing at all hours of the day.

Percussion instructors have to have a _high_ tolerance for loud, repetitive noises. However, seeing how they were once percussionists as well, that usually isn't too much of a problem. They drill the music into the percussion, much to the chagrin of the rest of the band. Hardly a day will pass when the winds and guard can't hear the beat of the battery and the repetative scales of the pit.

Things most band students have done to their director at some point in time:

-Accidentally (or "accidentally") hit them with their instrument/saber/flag/rifle/drumstick

-Called them Mom/Dad (for the band geeks who see them all the time)

-Wished them pain (usually during a long practice)

-Told them they love them (after winning a competition….or if they're bored)

-Stolen something from them (pencil, music, mute…flipbook…instrument…hopefully not the last one…)

-Annoyed them (I think everybody's accomplished this before…)

-After a few years of collecting, obtained the phone number of all of the directors on staff (very fun when you're bored and wanting to call random people)

_**-Drum Majors:**_

The drum majors are the student directors of the band. They are the students that the band director trusts enough (and who can direct well enough) to be in charge of the marching band.

Depending on the size of your band, the number of drum majors can vary. Smaller bands usually have one or two, whereas larger bands have three or four. Larger bands, on occasion, can have one or two drum majors as well, depending on the whim of the director.

The drum majors can be a pain in the butt sometimes; they're always yelling at the band to be quiet during rehearsal, and to get in step, and so on. However, that tends to just goes with the job. They _do _have to at least _appear _in control of quite a few rebellious teenagers. Keep in mind, though, that sometimes they do yell just because they feel like it.

As band geeks go, the drum majors are the craziest of them all. One minute they could be chewing your section out for not stopping at the same time, and in the next they could be making a jump rope out of paper clips (fun, but not practical...it will probably fall apart after about six or seven people try). They also have to really love band, as they spend more time in/around the band room, director, and music than anyone else in the band.

Being a drum major isn't as easy as people make it sound. You have to be in charge of your peers, and that is no easy task. You also have to memorize the show music (or at least the time signature and dynamics) so that you don't screw up the band with your bad conducting.

The benefits of being a drum major:

-You get seniority over _everybody_ (no more waiting in line for uniforms, food, buses, etc.)

-You're in charge of an entire marching band

-If you're lucky enough, your uniform has a cape

-You can get away with more than the average band geek

-The band director likes you

_**-Section/Squad Leaders/Captains**_

Ah, where would we be without a senior member of our section yelling our faults so that the whole band can hear? Good times, good times. If you're doing it wrong, they've probably noticed. Well, not all section leaders are like that. A lot of them are really cool, and _calmly_ (is there actually a _method_ to such madness?!) point out your mistakes.

The yelling and screaming ones usually end up being the bane of every freshman's existence.

The section/squad leaders are pretty much what their name says; they are the leader of a section in the band. The captains (there are usually four) are in charge of either the woodwinds, brass, guard, or percussion.

These are not the people you want mad at you. Also, if there is a solo for your section, they'll most likely (though not always) get it.

Still, you have to love your section, even if you _do_ want to kill them most of the time. You know what they say: love hurts. A lot.

Things you wish you could do to your section/squad leader:

-Make _them_ run laps around the practice field

-Make _them_ do thirty pushups

-Make _them_ hold their instrument at attention for five minutes straight (Can't….feel….arms…)

-Have them play the second/third part so that they realize how BORING it is (thankfully I only had to do so my first year)

*Edit: Having actually _been _a squad leader, I can truthfully say that it is very fun to boss people around. However, I tried incredibly hard to be nice and fair, and I'm pretty sure it worked. At least, I'm pretty sure none of the guys I was in charge of ever thought any of the above!

All together, the authority figures in the band are really quite entertaining, when they're not making you run through a set who knows HOW many times. They get a bit insane sometimes, but that's probably your fault anyway. When you're tired, hot, and sick to the point of suicide of marching, just remember: you can't complain, because _they've got the power!_

* * *

Well, that does it for the sections of the band!! Next up, the thing that begins it all: BAND CAMP!!


	7. This One Time at Band Camp

Here is the band camp chapter (finally)!! Sorry about the delay...I went out of town for a week for spring break. Anyway, I worked for a while on this one, so I hope I did band camp justice.

This story has exceeded all of my expectations…I thought that it would do decently, but the reviews have gotten to eighty, and, not including this one, that's thirteen reviews per chapter!

Thank you guys so much! I'm glad that you like this story enough to review it to this extent.

…please don't stop :p

Anyway, I present the band camp chapter.

Enjoy!

* * *

Band camp: (Banned-camp) The most anticipated (hated) week/two weeks (eternity) that always takes place during summer vacation (of course). More commonly known as boot camp.

**_Rookie Camp:_**

A week or so before the actual band camp begins, some bands have a "rookie" camp, which is designed to teach new band students marching fundamentals without scaring them enough to make them want to quit (the marching instructors save that for band camp).

Rookie camp is usually overseen by the drum majors and marching instructor, with squad leaders and captains helping out. The head director makes the occasional cameo, but he/she is usually working in the nice, cool band room.

The rookies learn how to march in time--actually, allow me to rephrase that. The instructors _attempt_ to teach the rookies how to march in time. For some reason, a lot of them seem to forget how to do so in the time between rookie camp and band camp. They also learn the basics of marching: the roll/high step, the touch and go, forwards marching, backwards marching, and standing at attention. For the rookies, standing at attention is a form of torture. The drum majors, on the other hand, derive a sort of sadistic pleasure from watching all of the freshmen suffer.

Not all bands have a rookie camp. Some prefer to teach the new band members the fundamentals on the first few days of band camp. Others have a rookie camp and _still _over the basics during band camp, just to "refresh" the memories of the upperclassmen (who, coincidentally, _need_ their memories refreshed).

**_Band Camp:_**

Whether you go away for it or have to show up at your band room at the crack of dawn every day, band camp is a summertime nightmare for every marching band student (or at least those with the slightest sense of self-preservation).

During this time, you will be forced to endure intense heat (anywhere from 80 to boiling), humidity, pain, suffering, pain _and_ suffering, fatigue, sore lips, sore muscles in general, and a lot more exercise than you are used to (unless you play a sport).

In a lot of schools, there are rules about the max heat the band can be practicing in. In order to get around this, the director simply ignores it (or lies when someone asks). On the rare occasion that the band director actually decides that it is too hot to practice, the entire band retreats to the shade and relative cool of the school, or wherever they are staying for band camp; however, the time spent out of the sun is always used "constructively."

Music rehearsals, anyone?

Most of band camp is spent outside, on the practice field. Usually, four to five hours (could be more, could be less for your band) are devoted to doing _something_ marching related, be it fundamentals, putting sets on the field, running through a set "one more time," marking time, or standing at attention.

If only more time could be devoted to water breaks…

When you are outside that much, you _will_ get sunburned. It doesn't matter if you claim to be "one of those people who doesn't burn."

You will get burned.

I promise.

The best advice that can be offered to the new band members is to wear lots of sunscreen (actually, COAT yourself with it). If you don't like sunscreen, at least wear a hat.

If you _do_ like sunscreen, wear a hat.

It helps.

Also, you need to drink water at every opportunity you get. Dehydration equals bad (they'll practically force feed you the water so that kids won't be dropping like flies).

Most of band camp consists of a crash course in the sets of that year's show. It's as if the band directors play games with themselves to see how much the band will march that day. "How much of the opener can we learn in one day?" or, "Let's see if we can have the whole opener on the field by Friday!" tend to be two of their favorites.

Some of band camp is also spent on learning the music. The motto of every band director on the face of the earth is similar to the following: you must memorize your music correctly, otherwise you'll be playing it wrong all season.

...how many times have you heard that in your life?

My guess is quite a bit.

Whether you're at an actual camp, or just at your school, a lot of your time is spent socializing with your section; music rehearsals, fundamentals, and even some of your free time are very section-oriented. You learn your part to the music as a section (well, duh), you are usually oriented around your section in the show, and you sit next to them in the music rehearsals.

You end up either loving them, or wanting to kill them.

In the end, you even _act_ like them (I don't remember swearing before I joined band…). Or, you could spend ten minutes plotting the untimely demise of your section leader (I seem to recall something with a spiked pit….)

Another feature of band camp is rookie night/day/week. It is basically a period of time in which minor hazing is allowed; for some bands, it tends to be a year-round unimportant ordeal.

All bands, no matter where they are, are seniority oriented; seniors are first to get on the bus, first to get their uniforms, first to get their food, first in flight (I'm not ripping off slogans, I promise! …it's not mine) first to get music, etc.

Upperclassmen can tell underclassmen what to do (marching and music wise, at least). I pity the freshmen/sophomore who tells the junior/senior that they were out of step (even though sometimes the upperclassmen is wrong...). It just isn't done, unless they are _really_ screwing up.

Anyway, rookie whatever (night/week/year) is a time for the upperclassmen to have even _more_ seniority.

A lot of the time they just get to boss around the rookies more than usual; sometimes they get to dress them up, or make them perform a skit in the auditorium.

If your school is one that does the dress-up, beware…the veterans of the band can be veeeeeeery creative. Saxophone and baritone guys could be cavorting about in dresses, and you just might see the drumline rookies gamboling around wearing girl shorts.

Blackmail pictures all around!!

Band camp is also a time to weed out the lazy and uncaring, which are pretty much the same people. It's always amazing how many lazy people actually survive band camp…you want to stab them with your instrument and bury them in a landfill, but you can't because then there would be a hole in the drill.

Points to the people who try, though.

Band camp is always entertaining. You have the rookies--the innocents--who look foward to band camp, who are excited by the very word (err...words); however, they will learn.

Then you have the veterans, the returning band members, the survivors. They look upon band camp warily; it's fun (band geeks will be band geeks), but they know the effort that goes into it as well.

Nonetheless, many a marching band student has been sitting around doing nothing mid spring and randomly wished for band camp. Come July/August, however, they probably look back and wonder what the heck they were thinking.

That about wraps it up for band camp. It is hated, despised, and, at the same time, it is tolerated, maybe even liked. It brings the band together (usually in some sort of vendetta against the authority figures), and prepares the band for the upcoming season.

Nevertheless, it still sucks.

This one time, at band camp:

-The trombones sang the ballad and then started stripping (for skit night...)

-Half of the drill for the closer had to be re-written because nobody could march it

-The drumline got section of the day (I think the earth stopped spinning)

-The sprinklers came on (not really, but wouldn't that be awesome?!

-The brass had sectionals standing up in the auditorium (that has no air conditioning) while the woodwinds got to sit down in the nice, cool band room.

-The marching instructor went without shoes to _tan his feet_.

-All of the assistant directors looked like raccoons because they got sunburned so badly (they were wearing sunglasses...)

-The trombones caused bruises and headaches through their lack of depth perception (then again, what else is new)

-The water line broke and managed to inflate a good bit of the field (giant bubble of grass, anyone?)

One last thing...people saying "this one time at band camp..." annoy me sometimes.

Among band people, it's fine.

We think it's funny.

We get it.

But when _every_ non-band person has to say it to you, you tend to get annoyed. It's not funny when they say it.

It's just not funny.

* * *

Another chapter come and gone...I'm so proud! The next chapter shall be...(drum roll, please)...(I said drum roll!)...(oh. The drumline are out of commission due to a taser incident)...(okay, no drum roll. Glissando!)...Competitions!!


	8. And in First Place

Another update has finally arrived! The long-awaited (by me, at least) competition chapter is here!

Enjoy!

* * *

Competitions: (Com-pa-ti-shuns) The events that make all of the hard work worthwhile.

Ah, competition day.

Get up early and excited, rush to the high school—what do you mean the band doesn't perform until eight o'clock tonight?! What was the point of getting up so early?!

Oh.

…rehearsal…..

You should know by now that band directors take advantage of any possible practice time.

Competitions are events where marching bands can show off their superior (or less-than-superior) skill for other bands, judges, and parents. They are what a marching band lives for: the roar of the crowd, the cheers, the approval, the knowledge that you could have done no better, the feeling of being a part of something bigger, of belonging.

In marching competitions, bands are given scores based on their marching, visual effects, music, musical effects, drum majors, and percussion. The highest score a band can achieve is 100, and the band scoring closest to one hundred points wins the competition, as points are taken off, not added.

Competitions are also a way for the directors to look good, so, of course, the band spends most of their competition day running through the show and the music.

Most bands always have some sort of pre-competition ritual, be it decorating the band room, being extra-annoying, listening/singing a certain song, etc.

Finally, though, the time comes for the band to collect their uniforms and instruments (make sure to bring your instrument…the director _really_ doesn't appreciate being told, after arriving at the site of the competition, that somebody left their instrument in the band room).

Bus ride, anyone?

_**Bus Rides:**_

Bus rides are some of the best times you will have in marching band. If you're one of the lucky (rich) schools, you might have your own charter bus (or something similar), complete with air conditioning, heat, and your band's name painted on the side.

If you're lucky/cursed (depending on how you look at it), you might have reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally old band buses which are in the school colors, have your name painted on the side, but have no heat or air conditioning.

Also, if your buses fall into the latter category, at least one bus will break down every time they are used.

It's a fact of life.

If you're not in either of the above categories, you either never were, or your band decided that their buses were too old, and got rid of them. You are instead reduced to yellow district school buses, or (when the football team isn't using them) activity buses.

Now, most bands always have a separate bus for the colorguard. This is convenient for both the students and the directors, as the students are able to avoid inhalation of hair spray and glitter, and the directors don't have to worry about any incidents involving guard and percussion-related teenage hormones.

The bus rides themselves are always fun. Depending on how far away the competition is, you could be on the bus anywhere from half an hour to three hours (or shorter/longer, depending). There are many forms of entertainment available for the bored band student on the bus. On the way there, you can keep yourself entertained by talking with friends, telling jokes, playing Uno, singing, throwing things at people, thowing things at couples, staring out the window, staring out the window with a friend and calling out vehicles/landmarks/parts of the Interstate as you see them, or trying to annoy the directors.

When it comes time to don your uniforms, everybody gets more serious, but you always hear the random joke about "doing" somebody (for those whose uniforms zip in the back, like a straightjacket, and need help putting it on).

On the ride home, you get a division in the way band members behave.

Some students still have excitement and adrenaline left over from the awards, while others are dead on their feet. The sleepy (grumpy) ones usually crash pretty early in the ride, while the others get progressively (especially if the band stops at a rest stop for a bathroom break/caffeine) hyper.

Be afraid, be very afraid.

These hyper students will sing, catcall, draw on sleeping students with markers, throw things out the windows, or, sometimes, stick inappropriate things out of the windows. For the sleeping students, this is extremely irritating; however, they get their revenge by laying in the aisles and falling asleep so that the hyper ones will trip over them.

Bus trip…incidents…:

-The engine of one of the band buses _catching on fire_, and having to evacuate all of the people on it, cramming them onto another bus that was already full (six people in two bus seats)

-Getting sugar high off of soda and playing "If you know what I mean" at eleven o'clock at night

-Having the band director drive one of the buses to a band event and ramp the bus over a curb

-Watching the drumline throw Milk Duds out the window at cars

-Going trick-or-treating on the way home from a Halloween competition and managing to acquire a Capri Sun, a Fruit Rollup, a honeybun, and two mini-Snickers.

-Spending a good half an hour in an intense compeition with half of the trombone section to see who could get the highest score on the helicoptor game on one of the drum major's iPods

_**Competitions:**_

Okay. So, you've (barely) survived the bus ride.

Now what's next?

Your performance, of course!

Well, first you have to get out your instrument (that you hopefully didn't forget). One by one, the band will file over to the designated warm up area and, well, warm up.

The band directors will rush about making sure everyone is in tune as slide grease, valve oil, and cork grease are tossed frantically around the band; the guard will be nearby, fine-tuning their flag/rifle/saber work.

Oh, and somebody's instrument will probably break, be it a pad falling off, a slide getting dented, losing a valve, or a flute getting stepped on.

Also, if you're a brass player, keep your spit valve as empty as possible until the performance. The feeling of spit coming back out your mouthpiece is less than pleasant (unfortunately, I speak from experience). If it's cold, you will salivate more, and will therefore need to empty your spit a lot more often than usual.

The band will run through some of the music and make sure they're all ready. Plumes and gauntlets will be donned, if they were not already on, and from then until playing time, the band will be fidgeting with the gauntlets, completely convinced that they're not on straight (or just wanting something to fidget with).

The time will soon come when the band is lined up outside of the field, half of its members resisting the urge to run off and use the bathroom (even though they just went). Before you perform, it seems as though you are waiting _forever _to march onto the field, when in reality it is only a few minutes.

And then, it's show time.

Marching out onto that brightly lit field, getting set for the first piece of your show, mentally going over everything in your head, remembering from past experiences that it's _not_ good to mentally go over everything in your head, trying to forget everything you just remembered so that you can do it from muscle memory, praying that your muscles remember…oh, why did you ever join band?!

After the performance, you usually remember why: the excitement of performing, of knowing you perfectly executed moves you've been screwing up for weeks; afterwards, conferring with your friends, knowing that you did well, that everybody gave their best effort; the simple joy that comes from being in the band; the sudden realization that maybe the band directors _do_ know what they're talking about.

Suuuure, there are the occasional mishaps, but you learn to live with them.

After the performance, there are pictures. Attempting to set up a marching band so that they may have their picture taken is not the easiest of tasks. People squabble over where they're going to stand, and the poor photographer is left nearly ripping his/her hair out by the end of the ordeal.

There's always a fear eminating from the tubas (and whoever stands on the bleacher step in front of them) that the weight of their instruments will tip the risers over. To amuse themselves, the tubas and the drumline play the penis game, while the trombones roll their eyes (or join the baritones in aiding the tubas). Plumes are waving in the faces of those on the bleacher above, and the air is hot and stuffy.

Then, before you know it, it's time for the awards.

Nothing, and I mean _nothing_, will ever be as nerve-wracking as the awards ceremony for a marching band competition (especially state or BOA). Sitting there, listening to the announcer call out placements (starting with _last place_) is one of the most stressful points of your high school career.

Even knowing that you performed better than a lot of the bands there, your nerves will get the better of you every time. Whether you win or lose, though, you will always have fun.

Competition memories:

-Having another band at State, with the same beginning of your school name, be called for last place. Anyone up for a heart attack?

-Actually winning the state competition that year

-Having a random drunken guy jump onto the side of the field and start dancing in the middle of the state performance.

-Watching one of the band directors controlling a prop accidentally cause the prop to collide with a sousa player

-Nailing your section leader with your slide

-Having the power go out in the band room (because one of the mellophones wrecked and hit a power line) and having to stand outside in the cold before State

No matter what, competitions are the best thing about marching band, the icing on the cake, one might say. They make the hard work and never-ending practices bearable, and provide some of the best marching band memories.

If your director tapes the performance, it is especially fun to go back and watch it. Be careful, though. If you messed up, and it's noticeable on the tape, your director will come after you.

They're already on their way.

* * *

Another chapter finished! For the next, I'm taking a vote. Your choices are football games or parades. Whichever gets the most votes is the one I shall do next!


	9. Are You Ready For Some Football?

Hello, faithful readers! As a result of the vote from last chapter, this chapter is all about the football games. To those who were hoping for parades, never fear!! I've written that chapter as well, and will be posting it within the week. Thanks to everyone who reviewed!! I always have such a good time reading everybody else's band stories.

And now, without further ado, I present the chapter on football games!

* * *

Football games: (Foot-bawl games) Events that occur regularly every Friday night from August to October/November. As everybody knows, the band is the main (the _only_) event…we wish…

Seriously, though, without the band, football games would be boring…or, at least more boring than they already are. Sure, the football team is simply _wonderful_, but who needs them when you have the band?? A good chunk of the crowd at football games is made up of entirely band parents, and at some schools, they're the _only_ people in the crowd.

Depending on whether or not your school football team is any good, the band is either the highlight of the night, or merely cast into the background as the shining stars that make up the football team steal the spotlight.

It's even worse for the schools with both a good band and a good football team. They'll be competing for attention, and in a society completely dominated by rabid sports fans who don't understand that marching band is _beyond_ all sports, football will (unfortunately) take precedence over everything band-related when the two are pitted against each other.

It's always amazing that so many band members can attend every football game for four years and still not know anything about the game…you'd think that they would at least know something about football.

So, anyway, it's game time. What's first?

_**Warm Up and Pre-Game:**_

Probably the worst parts of a football game would be the warm up that takes place beforehand and the pre-game show. Most bands (or at least mine) have to run through the show and pre-game block at least once before every home game.

This is not fun, as the uniforms are hot, it's Friday night, and the most work the band feels like doing is walking to the concession stand.

Warm up isn't horrible, as long as it's not a terribly warm evening. However, working on the pre-game stuff (i.e., The Star-Spangled Banner and the school alma mater) that you know by heart after your second or third game tends to be a little trying.

After the warm up is (finally) over, the band trudges down to the stadium and gets ready for the game to begin, which generally involves lining up on the field to play the aforementioned songs.

Then, of course, you have to appear enthusiastic and play the fight song so that the football team can make their way onto the field. They run on, everybody screams and cheers, and the band gets shunted to the side.

Time to head back to the stands and let the game begin.

_**Stand Music:**_

Ah, stand music. You love it, and you hate it. It is your friend and your enemy. It is both the yin and yang, the Sith and the Jedi, the good and the bad…and maybe even the ugly.

The band can have a lot of fun playing the stand music, but the music itself can get really repetitive after a while. Really, how many times can _you_ play "We Will Rock You" without getting bored and trying to learn it on a different instrument?

Seriously, though, the stand music is fun. It is a time to play really loudly and not get yelled at, and to attempt to learn another instrument (and usually fail).

A lot of the time, different sections have different "cheers" that they play, and that the rest of the band either plays along to, or just dances to. So, when the stand music gets really boring (for both the band and the crowd), the directors cave and let the sections play their cheers.

It's pretty fun either way.

Most of the time in the stands, the band gets to sit back, relax, and take off their uniform jacket, jumping up every five minutes or so to play some random song.

Different bands have different stand music, but some of the favorites are:

-"We Will Rock You" …when the drum major or director calls out this song, they usually get an "in bed," or a "yeah, but what are we playing?" because band kids are just plain perverted

-"The Imperial March" …Darth Vader meets marching band (unfortunately, my band doesn't play this…)

-"Another One Bites the Dust" …popular when (if) your team wins

-"Rock and Roll All Night" …fun, but only because there's a cool trombone part

-"Louie Louie" …FUN for trombones…you get to swing, _and_ you get a fun part

-School fight song….popular after touchdowns…not really popular with the band, due to how many times it is played

Playing in the stands is always fun, because it gives you a chance to dance, party, and attempt to out-play the other school's band. Plus, you can yell at random people just for the fun of it, or spend fourth quarter chucking peanuts/skittles/ice at random band members.

Stand incidents:

-Sitting in front of the drums and getting a splitting headache for every game of the season

-Emptying spit onto shoulder of tenor sax player sitting in front

-Having tenor sax turn around and blow spit from mouthpiece onto uniform

-Managing to successfully nail saxophone player six rows in front with a piece of ice two times in a row

-Attempting to play stand music sans a mouthpiece

-"Smoking" candy sticks when it's cold outside

-Laughing as section leader tries to (very badly) play stand song from memory (needless to say, he did not succeed)

-Actually watching part of the football game

_**Halftime and 3**__**rd**__** Quarter:**_

Ah, halftime. The only important part of the football game. Now, if only the television networks would realize that as well; during every pro football game, the band will be shown marching onto the field, and then there will be a convenient ten-minute long commercial break.

Halftime is game time for the marching band. Towards the end of the 2nd quarter, the band begins to don their jackets, hats, and other random paraphernalia, and heads down to wait on the sidelines, all the while wary of being attacked by a stray football and/or football player. Five minutes on the clock generally means eight/ten minutes in football time, as the game pauses for various fowls, plays, etc. Eventually, time runs out for the first half, and the team makes their way off the field as the awesomeness that is the band marches on.

To a lot of bands, or directors, at least, football games make excellent practices for competitions. They give the band a chance to get used to performing in front of actual people, in an actual stadium, with one of the band directors in the press box actually filming the performance, so that the band can watch it as they put away their uniforms.

For the freshmen in the band, the first football game of the year is _horrible_, as it is their first time performing in front of a decent-sized crowd.

It's so fun to tell them not to mess up….

After the band makes their grand statement and trudges off the field sweatier than they ever wanted to be, they head to the stands, dump their instruments and jackets, and take a well earned quarter off.

To the concession stand!

The band directors always give the band the "speech" about spilling things on uniforms (for the days when you don't take off the jacket); usually, said "speech" is more of a "don't eat anything that could spill on your uniform or else" lecture.

Which, of course, rules out everything tasty, so nobody ever heeds the warning.

During third quarter, you can see the band members mingling with the crowd as best they can (because suspender pants blend in _so_ well), hitting their parents up for money, and cutting in line for food.

Third quarter and concessions give the game a meaning, give the band a reason to perform. Besides, how fun is it to _not_ to have to play the fight song for once when your team scores a touchdown?

Halftime Happenings:

-One of the trombones losing a shoe during the ballad, and having to march a song and a half (a _fast_ song) without it

-Dumping ice from a soda down the suspender/overall pants of a jacket-less band member…it is FUN, because unless they get lucky and it all falls out, you have to unzip said suspender pants, reach around, and get the ice out…it's even funnier when they're wearing their jacket

-Having half the band get out of step during the first game of the season

-Watching steam rise from your body after marching because of the conflicting temperatures of your body and the air

-Falling up the stairs of the stadium while carrying your nice, shiny trombone (it's not as shiny anymore….that wasn't a good day…)

-Cutting in front of _a lot_ of hungry people in the concession line and getting away with it

Overall, football games are very entertaining, even for (especially for) band kids. You get to get into the football game for free, hang out with all of your band friends, hang out with your other friends during third quarter, and eat food

All in all, it's a very fun evening.

…what is football, anyway?

* * *

I've always wondered why America can't be like every other country in the world and call soccer football…but, no, we had to be "original" and give the name to a _different_ sport, but I digress. Next chapter, parades!!


	10. Left, Left, Left, Right, Left!

I finally posted this! I apologize to everybody who was waiting for me to post this. School's winding down, and I was slowly adjusting to life without soccer. But, I finally got my lazy butt around to posting the parades chapter, so all is well. If only school were out..

Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

Parades: (Puh-rades) Events that involve the entire band marching in the same direction in unison, which, of course, creates problems.

How many times a year do you hear the dreaded "P" word? Once? Twice? Or, perhaps even three or four times? Parades are a chance for a band to make a public appearance at an event that non-band people will actually attend.

Some bands make the most of this, while others don't really care. Not that the students' opinions matter at all, as all band directors look upon parades as events in which they can show the general public that marching band _is _worthwhile.

Since your band is participating in a parade where people will actually _see_ you and judge the band, you know what that means: practice, practice, practice!

_**Parade Practice:**_

The first thing every band learns before a parade is parade block; though it is quite similar to any other block form, the band directors love to take time to go over it nonetheless.

At the head of every band marching in a parade are the people carrying the banner, which announces the school and band, and the drum majors. The poor souls who are your drum majors have to march the parade backwards, while directing the band and steering them around corners.

Next, depending on the band, comes either the woodwinds or the brass; some directors prefer brass up front, while others prefer the woodwinds. Some might even have a brass-woodwind-brass-woodwind lineup going on.

At the tail end come the drums, banging in all their glory. No matter where you are, you can _always_ hear the drumline.

The color guard, depending on the director, either takes their place before the drum majors, after the drums, or in between rows of band members. The latter looks rather cool when they are spinning their flags.

Anyway, once the director gets everybody lined up to his/her satisfaction, the band begins to rehearse the music and marching, and, if you're really special, you may actually get to try doing it _together_! ...over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over….

Usually the metronome (everyone's _favorite_ device) is on as well, deafening various band members as the block passes in front of it.

Corners are torture—plain and simple. The person on the outside of each line has to take gargantuan steps, the person on the inside of the line has to take tiny steps, and everyone in between has to take steps in accordance with the two outsides.

So, when you look at the finished picture, you have an assortment of people attempting to stay in step as the line pulls away or lags behind from the two outsides. For this reason, the director usually places upperclassmen on the outside of the block in the hopes that this shifting and pulling won't occur.

The director, of course, insists that parades are one of the most important events that a band participates in, and he/she is occasionally correct. The big, televised ones, are obviously incredibly important to the band, but the local Christmas parades or homecoming parade fall much lower on the marching students' level of priorities.

The band would _much_ rather stuff the band director in a tuba case and forget about the entire ordeal. But, of course, life isn't that kind.

So, your band is (finally) ready for the actual parade. What's next?

_**Parade Time:**_

The actual parades are sheer horror. The band loiters around for a good bit of time, warming up, et cetera. Then, the parade officially starts, and the students loiter around a bit more, waiting for it to be time for them to fall into the parade.

When it's actually time for your band's part in the parade to begin, you will soon learn what hell is all about.

Sure, band camp is bad, but at least you get breaks. Plus, does band camp involve horses (or their excrement)? No.

The drumline taps out their "Dut dut, dut dut, duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu dut dut" and the band is off, playing their parade song(s).

_**Christmas Parades:**_

Okay, first things first. Christmas parades take place around Christmas, correct? Christmas is in December, and December is during winter (in the Northern Hemisphere, anyway).

Why is it, then, that in the south it is SEVENTY degrees outside in December?!

For those in the north, with _snow _(the miraculous white substance that falls from the sky), Christmas parades are rather chilly (or even frigid). This is typically _normal_.

Anyway, no matter where you live, Christmas music is universal, and bands everywhere come to loathe it (or at least one or two particular songs) each year. It probably doesn't help that the radio starts playing Christmas music in _November_ (I will not rant, I will not rant…).

Some of them are really pretty songs, and most of them are classics, but after a while you get kind of sick of them.

For your average marching band, that particular song that the director chooses for your Christmas parade is the one that will make anyone in the band groan when they hear it.

Christmas parades involve marching around town in your band uniforms, playing the aforementioned Christmas song of the director's choice, while people cheer you on.

For a while, it's fun.

After the second mile, it's not.

It's a never-ending cycle of drum cadence, horns up, play, horns down, drum cadence, horns up, play, horns down, etc.

"_**Important" Parades:**_

The important parades are what you would define as being "parades you get to go out of town for." Parades that would fall into this category are the Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade, the Tournament of Roses Parade, and quite a few others.

These are the parades that are four-seven miles long, and that you _really_ practice for.

AKA, they are the parades that are on TV, and that the band directors (and hopefully you as well) don't want to screw up.

If you get to go to one of the parades above, you are a very fortunate person. These parades are very long and demanding, but they are also incredibly fun, and your audience is HUGE. However, they are absolute _murder_ on your arms. Holding your instrument or flag for the duration of the parade is exhausting, for winds, drums, and guard; not to mention the rubbery feeling your legs get after you stop moving.

Parade Shenanigans:

-Marching behind a fire truck that had people throwing candy into the street during one of the local Christmas parades, and (along with the other trombones) stopping in the middle of the parade to pick up candy.

-Being the best received band in the Boscov's Thanksgiving Day Parade in Philly (although that might have been related to the fact that we played Rocky).

-Marching in the front of the parade block with the rest of the trombones while attempting to outplay tone-deaf section leader.

-One of the only tubas who actually played forgetting his mouthpiece for the Philly parade.

-One of the freshmen tubas forgetting his mouthpiece for one of the Christmas parades.

-Stepping on dead squirrels (that had been killed _during_ the parade).

-One of the pit ditching the local Christmas parade to come and sit in her car and _watch _said Christmas parade (she tried to hide when we went by, but the percussion instructor spotted her.

While parades are torture, they are also quite fun, so long as you ignore the exhaustion, the dead feeling of your lips, and the sweat soaking through your uniform. Oh, and not to mention the overplaying of the music.

If you can overlook all of that, parades are _great_!

* * *

So, I finally got my lazy bum around to updating. For the next chapter...I've got an idea about what I want to do, but I'll let you guys give me suggestions. If I like them, I'll use one of yours, but if none of them are anything I want to do, I'll use my idea :p


	11. Road Trip!

Dang, this is a long chapter...woohoo! Sorry about the delay, guys. School has been drawing to a close (and now it's out!!), so I've been busy with exams. I had already decided to make this chapter about band trips, so I was pretty happy that that's what most of you guys suggested. For those of you who didn't suggest band trips, hopefully you'll like this chapter anyway.

If not, suck it up. Maybe I'll do your idea in a later chapter :p

Anyway, enjoy!!

* * *

Band trips are a time to kick back, relax, and cause pandemonium and mayhem with your buddies in the band. Also, you get away from home for a while (unless your band has a booster club like mine, in which case there is a 1/1.5 ratio of kids to adults on the trip…).

No matter what, though, you get to go to places you've never been before, be the obnoxious tourists that you can't stand, and enjoy a relative sense of freedom.

You could also get to know your band director a lot better (especially if you're on the bus with all of the assistant band directors, and they're all in their twenties). Who knows? Maybe you'll discover that you have a lot of things in common (our percussion instructor let my bus watch Superstar on the ride home)

Also, if you're new to the band that year, you can use the trip as a way to get to know some of the older kids (we don't bite, I promise).

The only semi-bad thing about having a band trip is that non-marching band students who are in concert band will join the marching band for the sole purpose of going on the trip. While this does increase the size of your band, it also hinders your performance (as most of them really stink and don't care enough about the competitions to try to improve).

Despite this, it is definitely worth it once you're off on your grand trip.

Most schools don't do that many big trips, so when you the chance to travel somewhere interesting arrives, take it. You'll have an awesome time.

**Destination:**

When planning (or coercing your director into planning) a band trip, the first thing you need is a reason to skip town. Say, for instance, that a town in some big state (New York, Texas, California, to name a few) is having a Christmas/Thanksgiving parade—instant excuse.

Keep in mind, however, that most band trips are decided without input from the band.

Some bands consider events such as the Rose Bowl Parade, or the Macy's Parade to be the only place to go for band trips; however, there are a vast assortment of other parades and competitions that can provide an excuse to schedule a trip.

One of the main events band directors go to is BOA (or Bands of America). BOA consists of Regional and Super Regional Competitions, in which various bands from all around convene in some hub city with a huge stadium and perform, and a Grand National Championship in Indianapolis, which consists of uber awesome bands competing to be the best.

Or, if your director is feeling tropical, you could go to somewhere like Hawaii (which, of course, my band did _before_ I joined…they couldn't have waited two more years?).

Anyway, no matter where go, you will definitely have fun!

**Traveling:**

One of the most grueling parts of a band trip is the bus ride there. It's not bad if you get to sit by someone that you like, but, somehow, that never seems to work out in your favor. A lot of schools have rules about girls and boys riding on the same bus if you're traveling overnight, and, if most of your good friends are of the opposite gender, that makes the trip _extra_ fun.

If your band director is awesome, though, he/she will allow the buses to be coed when you reach your destination. It is so much more fun, as you can laugh with all of your friends when crazy things happen.

And, of course, the chaperones have their own assigned seats every two or three bus seats. If you have horrible luck (like yours truly), your two best friends on your bus will sit with each other in an area where there are no other seats, and you will be stuck sitting next to someone you can't stand.

If you are blessed with good bus ride mojo, you will sit next to your best friend and be crazy the entire ride.

Some band trip locations are only a few hours away, while others can involve 8-12 hour bus rides. No matter what your circumstances are, the bus rides are fun (especially charter bus rides). You get to watch movies, goof off, and sleep (if you're traveling overnight, the latter is the most popular option).

Once you get to the city/town/place you'll be visiting, you will still have to travel via bus to your band event(s) and to your sightseeing tours/gift shops/etc. You will see some weird stuff, depending on where you go (for odd occurrences, big cities such as New York and LA work best).

Bus rides are also fun when you get to stop at rest stops. When traveling through the night, you can always witness a bunch of half-awake band kids stumbling off the bus to either relieve themselves or buy caffeinated drinks in a desperate attempt to stay awake.

Sometimes, you even get kids who sleep through the entire rest stop. This is pretty funny, especially when you talk about the stop they missed in the morning.

Bus rides:

-The bus with the guys in it taking out the headlights of an 18-wheeler at a _rest stop_...the guys got home an hour after everybody else because the driver had to fill out insurance insurance information

-The bus driver of yours truly backing into a car

-Having some guy randomly jump out of his car, flip off everyone in the bus, and yell swear words at us…and then having the trumpets on the bus do the same thing right back

-After being allowed to run around Rockefeller Plaza in New York City, getting back on the bus to realize that, while no _kids_ had run off/gotten lost, two parents had disappeared (one of the band directors found them)

-Sitting next to someone who drives me nuts the whole ten hour ride there, and the ten hour ride back

-Having to practically sit in the aisle because she took the window seat (because the aisle seat made her sick), and also most of my seat (NOT a fun experience)

-Taking _five and a half hours _to drive through _Virginia_

-Waking up at five in the morning to see a truck in the median of the interstate ON FIRE (not a measly fire, _completely_ _engulfed in flames_), making sure of my conscious status, and then nobody else seeing it (and therefore not believing me…it happened, though. I have found other witnesses)

Once you arrive in your destination, one of the first things you will do will be to check into your hotel.

_**Hotels:**_

Hotels are interesting. Checking in stinks, because you have your entire band—plus chaperones—clogging the elevators. If you are wise, you will either sprint to the elevator once you get your room card, cut in front of various people, or take the stairs. The stair solution only works if you're on a lower floor, or if you are willing to go up quite a few flights of stairs.

Once you get to your hotel room, you can chill with your hombres and watch T.V, or you can check out the hotel.

If your band director trusts you, there is a possible chance he/she will allow you to swim in the hotel pool. If your band director is normal, you will not be allowed to swim, so you'll have to settle for sneaking into the pool and then getting caught (not guilty, but I'm sure somebody tried).

On any sort of school trip, there are generally four people to a room. Unless you get lucky, you will most likely be in a room with either three people you really like or two people you like and one whom nobody likes that got put in your room because every other room was full.

If you are attending a parade or competition of any sort, chances are there will a good many bands staying at your hotel. This is kind of fun, but, when it's time to leave on the morning of the parade/event, it can greatly complicate your grand plan of escape.

When you go to breakfast, it's not that bad. There is generally a big room set up where all the band kids can eat the hotel breakfast. Everwhere you look, there are geeky suspender pants, instruments, and even some kids already in their full uniform (nooooooooooo thank you).

Then, if you didn't already bring your stuff down, you have to go back up to your room and get it. Also, if you're going to a different city afterwards to do touristy stuff (like my band…we did a parade in Philly, and then spent the rest of our trip in New York), you have to bring everything with you.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to get an elevator. In a situation like that, _take the stairs_. It's easier, I promise.

Hotel Happenings:

-Running up and down eleven flights of stairs with a suitcase, pillow, and hatbox, while wearing a marching uniform (and then doing it again, minus wearing the uniform)

-Having a roommate clog the toilet in the hotel room, and then flushing it

-Accidentally _flooding_ the bathroom, and having to soak up some of the water with towels.

-Calling hotel staff at eleven thirty at night to unclog the toilet

-Having to step in water and soggy towels when going to the bathroom in the morning

-Having most of the band run out of their rooms after the conclusion of a football game between rivaling collages in our state (we tried, but we were across the hall from two of our directors…

_**Band Event:**_

See parade/competition chapters.

_**Sightseeing:**_

Sightseeing is very fun. Since you are in high school, your band director (for some reason) gives you more freedom, and he/she will let you wander around by yourself. Take advantage of this! You can go sightseeing, buy local food, and spend all of your money in one day (the latter is not advisable, though).

Your director will most likely organize a lot of group tours. Make sure that more than one person in the group you're running around with knows what time you have to meet, as there is the chance that someone didn't hear the correct time. Believe me, it has happened.

Also, when in a different town/city, make sure you bring clothes appropriate for the weather. It wouldn't do to bring long sleeves to Florida, or tank tops to New York. Then again, the weather may be drastically different than it should be that time of year just to spite you, making all of your careful preparations useless.

Another fun thing about being somewhere different is meals. You get to eat hotel food for breakfast, fast food/mall food for lunch, and restaurant/fast food for dinner. Hotel food is actually pretty decent, depending on where you stay. Plus, you can nick little cereal boxes, fruit, and bottles of water from the buffet for later (if you're cheap like me, anyway…).

Fast food and mall food is always good, but it is very easy to get sick of it (I ate _so_ much Subway on that trip). Mall food is always fun, though, as it means you are also at a mall. Malls can always entertain a bored band.

Restaurant food is fun. Period. You go as a group, get to sit with your friends, and, since you're on a band trip and get to goof off, if you don't like it, you can play with it. Also, you get refills on your drink. More caffeine is always fun.

Another fun thing to do is to buy souvenirs. Nothing says "I had a good time in --insert city--" like bringing home some random stuff that will go in your closet and never be used again.

Sightseeing episodes:

-Half of the band ignoring the restrictions on where in Philly we could go, and walking a few blocks to Chinatown

-Going to a southern barbecue restaurant in New York

-Watching as my friend coated French fries in barbeque sauce and stuck them under the seat of this guy that nobody is overly fond of

-Watching that guy sit on the French fries (we tried to put a fork down after the fries, but he saw us…)

-The whole band getting kicked out of the Hilton in Newark because we were too loud

So, in the end, are band trips worth the money, the long bus rides, and the random experiences?

_Definitely!_

* * *

This is my longest chapter by far, but I had so much to ramble about that that's to be expected. My next chapter is based around LittleMissTrumpetPlayer's intriguing idea; she suggested to do a chapter entirely about the uniform, and I took it upon myself to write one :D Expect it soon, and kudos to her for being so creative!!


	12. Uniforms

I apologize profusely for my lack of updating. I do, however, have an excuse besides procrastination this time, so I am at least taking steps forwards. I've been at a band and orchestra camp all week, and was boarding (which translates into sleeping in a bunk bed in a small dorm room without any computer access). It was _incredibly_ fun, though!

Also, a big thanks to all of my reviewers (both regular and new...it seems I pick up new readers with every chapter). As of chapter 11, this story has surpassed 200 reviews! Thanks!! (and please continue!!)

...I'll stop rambling now... Anyway, here is the long-awaited chapter on uniforms.

* * *

Uniforms: (Yoo-nih-form) Ridiculously hot and stuffy articles of clothing forced upon unsuspecting band members by their superiors. Generally worn during parades, football games, and competitions. Only remotely comfortable/warm when the temperature is below 65 degrees.

While some bands are lucky enough to have decent-looking uniforms (thankfully mine's one of them), most are cursed with odd/old/ugly/uncomfortable ones. The general make-up of a band uniform includes (but is not restricted to) some sort of hat, a jacket, suspender pants, gauntlets, gloves, and shoes.

_**Headgear:**_

The most common marching band hat is the shako. Shakos are your typical marching hat: they have a tall, cylindrical shape, a strap that goes under your chin, and a hole for a plume to be placed in at the top. If your shako is the wrong size, you will have an uncomfortable season; it will either squeeze your head until your brains pop out (if we lived in a cartoon universe…), or continuously fall behind your head so that the strap strangles you.

If it fits, you'll be A-okay, and can march around feeling cool with your big, fancy shako and fluffy plume.

While most of the band wears shakos, the tubas generally wear berets, as anything larger would continuously hit their instruments.

Keep in mind that the shako is not the only type of marching hat; there are many others that, like the shakos, are based off of military headgear (the shako, however, is the only one I know anything about). Some others include bearskins (don't know what they are? Think Buckingham Palace guards…), combination hats (think armed forces' service caps), and pith helmets (kind of safari/postal worker hat).

The absolute best part of marching band headgear is the plume. Plumes are long and fluffy, and can come in a variety of different colors: There are your typical, boring black/white plumes, and there are your more unusually-colored plumes, some examples being red, orange, or even purple.

Most bands, however, are doomed to have boring plumes (although if they're lucky, there's shiny mixed in with the black or white).

Plumes serve as a constant attraction to band members. They're tall, fluffy, worn on top of your head, and are an excellent source of innuendo. Plus it's very fun to head butt somebody while wearing a plume.

You can also use them to confuse innocent, naïve freshmen. Telling them that their plume is on backwards is _very_ fun (to any who would argue that it's not nice, it's been done to all of us who like to do it now).

No matter what type of headgear your band has, or what color plume, they _all_ make you look pretty stupid anywhere outside of a competition.

Plume escapades:

-A friend telling the bass clarinet rookie that her plume was on backwards three times in a row at the same competition, and she actually _believing_ him (one example of why I'm constantly in hysterics over the stupidity of the human race).

-Having a jousting tournament with our plumes while they were attached to the top of our heads (fun, but inadvisable).

-Making inappropriate plume jokes on various occasions (I seem to remember one about stroking a long, fluffy, plume…)

_**Jacket:**_

There are many variations of the marching jacket: there are some that you zip/button in the front, some that you zip/button in the back, and others that you don't even have to zip or button. The jackets that close in the front are pretty straightforward; you put your arms through the sleeves and then either zip or button it closed.

The jackets that close in the back, however, are another matter entirely. As it's rather hard to reach around to your back to close the jacket, you generally get a friend to do it for you, sparking the perverted conversations about "doing" somebody. There are the occasional people who can "do" themselves (it's actually not that hard…this whole paragraph sounds perverted, though). Jackets, like plumes, provide excellent material for innuendo.

Your jacket is generally colored to coincide with the school colors, or to make an effect during competitions. Even if the latter is the case, odds are that at least one of your school colors will find its way onto your jacket. With that being said, there are _some_ schools that have their uniforms set up differently; some jackets have black on one sleeve and white on the other, or one color on the front and another on the back.

You can generally find the band's logo and some funky design (there's one band in my state whose jackets resemble those of the Power Rangers...) on the jacket as well, and there is usually a sash running diagonally across your chest. Sashes are very fun; they generally button onto the uniform, and are therefore easily removable. Because of this, sash raping came into being (more on sash raping at the end of the segment).

Cords and capes are also quite common (I wish my band had capes…), and are there either to show rank or for decoration.

Even if your jacket looks _awesome_, you will, at some point in time, want to take that hot, stuffy thing _off _(unless you live where it's continuously cold), as a lot of jackets are made of incredibly heavy fabric. Most of the time, you experience this feeling during the August/September football games, when the weather is still stifling. If you aren't allowed to go jacketless in the stands, it sucks to be you. However, once October rolls around, and the weather turns more fall-y, you will probably _want_ to keep your jacket on.

Five steps to a successful sash raping:

-Silently approach chosen victim (it doesn't matter whether you come in from in front of them or from behind them, so long as they don't know what you're planning).

-When close to victim, quickly reach out and grab their sash.

-As soon as you have a good hold on sash, pull as hard as you can (for best results, pull down).

-If done correctly, sash should come completely off. However, the victim will most likely become aware of your plans soon after you grab their sash, so it may not always work to perfection.

-Run like hell afterwards (if caught, plead the fifth).

_**Pants:**_

Oh, what can be said about the _ever_ so wonderfulsuspender pants? For starters, they're generally awkward, pocket-less (if they're cheap…most of the time the pockets are in the inside), and annoying (the suspender part…the pants themselves are fine).

Now, you might be wondering what exactly I mean by suspender pants. They're basically overalls that aren't made out of denim and that only come up to your chest (for that reason, wearing a shirt underneath your uniform is strongly encouraged).

No matter how much you tighten them, those suspenders will always pick the worst possible time to slip off your shoulder. Generally this happens when you are waiting to perform, and when you already have your jacket on; the jacket, obviously, complicates the normally-simple matter of slipping the strap back onto your shoulder.

The pants typically come in two colors: black and white. Black is probably the most common, as it is harder for judges to recognize who not marching as well as everyone else. White, while it makes bad marching easier to see, looks a lot cleaner as a whole (what's really cool is when half the band marches in black, and half the band marches in white).

Black pants are also quite handy for hiding stains and dirt. Obviously, when you sit on bleachers, you pick up the occasional dirt/stain; however, this really isn't noticeable in black pants. White pants, on the other hand... White pants can be the bane of your marching existence. If you spill _anything_ on them, people can (and will) notice. The same goes for what you're wearing underneath. Even if you wear white shorts, if you're wearing colored underwear it will be seen. Admittedly, this is pretty funny.

One hilarious thing to do to your friends while they're wearing their marching pants (generally best at a football game) is to drop ice down the back. Then, they'll have to either dance around until the ice falls out of the legs, or unzip the pants and reach around to get it out.

If you can, dump it while they're wearing their jacket as well; it makes it even harder to get the ice out.

Embarrassing moments in white pants (none of which have, thankfully, happened to me):

-Eating chocolate on the way to BOA, and getting some of it smudged on your crotch (one of my friends)

-Having a certain event that occurs once a month start while wearing them (I felt so bad for her...)

-Sitting on _anything_ brown (generally very entertaining)

-Falling/sitting on the grass and turning part of your pants green (claim that you're redecorating for St. Patrick's Day...)

-Wearing colored underwear (even though the directors warned you not to) and having all of the parents in the stands laugh

**_Accessories:_**

Pretty much all bands wear gloves and gauntlets. The gloves are pretty generic as they generally match whatever color the jacket/pants are. You can always identify the flutes and clarinets by their gloves; to effectively play their instruments, they have to cut off the fingers.

Gauntlets are annoying, plain and simple. Yes, they look really cool when combined with your gloves, but they are _always_ falling off or coming loose. No matter what, somebody's gauntlet(s) will fall off during every performance. Also, the different sizes complicate matters (gauntlets come in medium, large, and extra large).

Most of the band should wear mediums, which means that about half of those who wear mediums end up wearing large gauntlets, thus adding to the percent of gauntlets that fall off. It's always a fight to see who gets to the gauntlets first, as there aren't medium gauntlets for everyone who needs them. If you want to ensure that you will have the right size, stick a pair in your hatbox. It's sneaky but very effective.

There are also the marching shoes. Depending on the band, these are either incredibly uncomfortable, or the most comfortable shoes ever (mine are in the second category). Most probably fall into the latter group, as you will wear these shoes throughout the whole season.

When you combine all of the separate parts of the uniform, you get a very impressive-looking band (usually). Sometimes they just look ridiculous.

If you're uniform is cool, though, you're all set to go.

If it isn't, enjoy looking stupid for the next four years.

* * *

I finally got around to posting this! Woot! Thanks again to all of my amazing reviewers!! You guys rock! The contents of the next chapter are strictly confidential, and so you shall find out when I next update (which will be within two weeks. I promise!!)

...in saving this, I discovered that FanFiction doesn't allow you to put more than two exclamation marks...that is very strange...


	13. Band Class

So, before I actually get into what I need to talk about in this author's note, I would like to take a minute to direct your attention to the review that Flame Rising left. Not only did it _crush_ my inspiration to write (obviously), it also left me in tears (of laughter) for the better part of half an hour. While it hurts that I lack the writing skills to compete with his left testicle, at least I am more intelligent than his right.

Now, on to business!!

While it makes me sad to say this, I've covered nearly everything I wanted to, so there are only a few chapters of Marching Band for Morons left. I've loved writing it, and there will definitely be at least two more chapters (there is a _distinct _possibility that I may end up writing more).

This chapter is mostly focused on band class and the band room itself, so enjoy!

* * *

Band class: (Band Class) A chaotic class period filled with loud instruments, noises, and, occasionally, music.

In high school, you have quite a few options to choose from when it comes to picking a band class. Your first option is concert band, which is generally the lowest of the low (unless, of course, your school has a 9th grade campus…then, _their_ band class is the lowest of the low). Concert bands tend to play the music that you could probably have played in the sixth grade (not always, but usually).

Your next choice is symphonic band. At some schools, symphonic band is the highest band class; this is the band that plays the harder music and goes to concert festival. Depending on the school, you could have another option to choose; the symphony/philharmonic orchestra. This is the class to be in, as you get the experience of playing with (and drowning out) the various string instruments (my school, unfortunately, does not have one).

Pretty much every high school also has a jazz band. Jazz bands generally consist of a variety of trumpets, saxophones, trombones, pianists, drummers, and guitarists. There are also guard classes in both the spring and fall; colorguard in the spring, and winter guard in the fall. Guard members pretty much _have _to take these classes (especially if your guard director is anything like the one at my school).

The class that most of this chapter is about, however, is the marching band class. This is for all students who are in the marching band; obviously, is a fall class. Some schools require you to take the class as well as march, while others only "encourage" it.

Marching band class generally involves playing your show music every day of the semester (I advise anyone who has problems memorizing music to take this class. I can _guarantee_ that you'll know it by your first competition). You also play show tunes, and, come November and December, you will practice parade music as well.

If you're lucky, you might even get to go outside and march. It's _awesome!! _NOT. Suuuuuuuuuuuure, you become a better marcher, but you have band practice after school anyway! The band directors tend to realize this, though, as you don't go outside too much (only when they think you really need to work on something…).

Marching band class (or really any band class) is a great way to get to know your section better (or, if you've already been in the band for a few years, to talk to your friends). You quickly learn who cares, and who could care less. Sitting by them for an entire class period also helps you to learn their temperaments (I recommend sitting by the sarcastic ones…you can make fun of people together).

Since it is a marching band class, you will inevitably have to march. This (for obvious reasons) really isn't much fun.

You will also have an excellent chance to learn your stand music, as the director (for some reason) has you play it nearly every day. Of course, when the time comes to actually play it during a football game, you'll be so sick of it that you won't be able to.

This is a pretty laid back class (incredibly so after marching season), and, if you're lucky, you might get to watch a few movies (I know we did). Directors also like to show tapes/videos of years where the band was phenomenal (i.e., won State, marched in a famous parade, etc.), so you'll probably watch a few of those in hopes that the lazies of the band will be "inspired."

...anybody else wonder about the chances of that?

Five advantages to having a marching band class:

-You actually _do_ memorize the music faster.

-There are generally so many people in the class that you can duck out to the bathroom without asking and not be noticed (I haven't but some of the other trombones did it practically every day).

-You can use it as an excuse to change out of your ROTC uniform early (generally only when you're going to be marching).

-You can talk when the director is working with another section, and he really won't care (too many people do it, so he gives up without trying to make us stop).

-After marching season, you do practically nothing (watch movies, talk, and work on parade music).

_**Band Room:**_

During marching season, the band room is practically your home away from home. You spend practically all of your time there, you eat most of your meals there, and, sometimes, its where you get most of your sleep as well.

It is not an unusual sight to walk in and see five to ten kids sprawled out on the floor, or on a bed of four or so chairs, sound asleep.

You have fights in the band room, you run around the band room acting like a moron, and you (occasionally) get lost in the band room (amid the clutter of instruments).

It's the center of operations for everything band (and more).

Most band rooms (unless the school is brand new) have decent to gargantuan piles of clutter laying about. There are instruments (and other things..) heaped in the storage room, dirty clothes and memorabilia from past students in the lockers, and trophies, banners, and junk laying in heaps around the band room.

As it is a band room, there are quite a few instruments to be found; there are instruments in cases, instruments without cases, and even cases without instruments.

With all of the empty cases, somebody, at some point in time, will try to put some poor kid (or a willing volunteer) into a tuba case (and occasionally leave them there...).

There are also various unclaimed instrument supplies just waiting to be claimed, ranging from cork grease or valve oil to mutes and mouthpieces. Some belong to the school (and obviously should not be taken), but occasionally you chance upon a stray item that a former student left behind; some have even forgotten their instruments (I kid you not).

Navigating a path through the band room tends to be challenging; guard flags, percussion equipment, and music usually gather on top of all the accumulated junk and instruments.

A word of warning to those new to band: don't sit on the floor of the band room (unless you don't mind dry/wet spit).

Depending on the director, there will be rules to "follow" while in the band room. Some such rules tend to include no food/drink, no gum (one of the only rules that I follow), no cell phones during class, and so on. For most of the band, these rules are more actual guidelines (I don't own Pirates).

Quite a few people (including our band director) eat in the band room; that rule usually falls apart or never existed in the first place. Nearly everybody in the band has, at some point, chewed gum while playing their instrument. Personally, ew.

While the director occasionally lives under the delusion that nobody has their cell phones out, a good percentage of the class is sitting there texting, with their phones "cleverly" hidden behind the stands.

Odd band room occurrences:

-Being privileged enough to have a projector screen to watch tapes/movies. Using a two by four to turn on said privilege, as the control panel is on the twelve foot ceiling.

-Having the temperature rival that of Africa during after school rehearsals due to the one hundred-some people in a too small room (and the fact that the air turns off after four...).

-Looking at the "sousaphone racks" (AKA, garden hose racks).

-Fighting through a desperate mob of people to get to the cafeteria first for lunch.

-Following the progress of a mouse running rampant through the room during lunch while waiting for the rest of the band to get ready to leave for Festival (he was a cute little guy).

Marching band class is a great way to get to know everybody, and to learn the music; it also _sucks _when you have to march during school hours.

The band room, in all its glory, really is your home away from home. Think of it as a spitty, instrument-filled hotel.

--When considering going on vacation, please consider Band Room Inn. This cozy, one-room inn is furnished with fabulous chair and instrument case beds, a temperamental air conditioner, and a beautiful view of both the band field and local high school. There is also have a wonderful continental breakfast with a delectable selection of food from whatever fast-food restaurant is closest. Choose Band Room Inn!--

* * *

Thanks for reading! If the blip at the end makes you wonder, well...keep wondering. I know I am. Anyway, that wraps up another chapter. I have at least two or three chapters left, but I'm slowly running out of ideas. If any of you have something that you want covered, let me know! I can't guarantee that I'll write about it, but I'll definitely consider all suggestions.


	14. The Little Things

**Disclaimer: Any products or places mentioned in this story are not owned by me. They get free advertising, so it's all good.**

On to serious business! I am sad to say that this is the final chapter of this story. I had always planned on ending with it with a variety of topics, just to wrap up random ideas; as these were the only random ideas I felt like writing about, they are the last.

I thank all of my marvelous readers. Without your great reviews, this guide would have just been nothing. It always made me happy to check my email and see a bunch of reviews waiting for me in my inbox. You guys are fantastic!!

If you wanted more chapters, I apologize...I ran out of stuff to write. However, as my new band season continues, I might be struck by more inspiration. If that is the case, I won't hesitate in writing another chapter.

Thanks again, and enjoy the last chapter of Marching Band for Morons!

* * *

Little things: (Lit-tul things) Various blips of information on random topics. They are usually quite humourous.

**Weather**: The weather very rarely (if ever) cooperates with the wishes of the band (or at least those of the students…it usually likes the directors).

If it is one hundred degrees outside during rehearsal one day, no matter _how _much you wish a thunderstorm would materialize, the weather _won't _cooperate. In fact, it will probably go out of its way to strike a deal with the temperature to get even hotter, just to spite you.

If you've had a bad day at school and just don't feel like going outside for band, you're just going to have to suck it up. It doesn't love you enough to rain.

And no, rain dances will not change anything; band kids and the weather just don't get along. It's a scientific fact (…okay, so maybe I'm lying about that one…). And, when you _are_ graced by rain, it has the gall to dissipate before the end of practice, leaving puddles, clear skies, and humidity. Or, it will start to rain/snow/something _just_ after practice ends.

Likewise, when you don't want it to rain, it will. Perhaps your alternative to marching drill outside is working on fundamentals in the hot, stuffy gym; if this is the case, the weather will unleash the storm of the century merely to see you suffer.

Just face the facts; you can't win against the weather.

**Sugar and Caffeinated Products:** When going to/returning from a band competition, it is inevitable that you will consume something that is either loaded with a lot caffeine or a lot sugar. This is your best (and only) option when you start feeling too sleepy on the bus.

Now, the recommended choice for your caffeine fix is Coca-Cola; at two in the morning, that much caffeine can make you positively loopy. If you're a regular Coke drinker, though, you might want to consider an energy drink (to get the necessary sugar rush). However, keep in mind that those sitting around you are probably not going to be incredibly hyper. To solve that problem, bring an energy drink for them as well!

Together, you can drive everybody on the bus nuts!

As far as sugar goes, anything in the chocolate family works quite well. Actually, seeing how this is _band_, any sort of sugary product should suffice.

Times when sugar/caffeine are necessary:

-When you have to show up at the band room at eight in the morning to start getting ready for your competition.

-When you're sitting on a bus at one in the morning on the way home from that same competition.

-When you're stuck on a twelve hour bus ride to who-knows-where and you need some entertainment.

-When you are completely exhausted during band camp and still have half the day to go (this is a great solution to exhaustion, as you won't feel any aches or pains until _after _you get home).

**The wonderful words "One more time" as told through a story:**

Once upon a time there was a band. Now, this was a special time for these band students: They were very nearly done with a long, daylong mini-camp, and the temperature and weather had been cruel and merciless.

The sun was beating down upon the backs of these poor children, the sweat slick on their arms. Their breath was coming in short, heavy gasps, and their arms shook with the effort of holding their instruments up.

It was nearing the end of the day, and the students had but a little time left of their camp. They were hot, tired, and incredibly thirsty.

Their band director, however, had turned a blind eye to their plight, and was eying a particular move of the show that he wanted to go over. Knowing that his charges would be less than happy, he struck a deal with them.

He agreed that, should they do ten repetitions of this move (while at least attempting to do it correctly), he would give them a water break--a tall order, to be sure. However, the bargain was struck, and the band readied for their first run of the intense passage.

Horns up, count off, GO!

And then, that run was over.

"Alright guys, let's do it one more time! Nine runs to go!"

They reset.

And so it continued in this pattern, and all was well. The band would move, and the director would say "one more time" and offer the remaining number of repetitions.

Finally, it was down to the last one.

"Alright, guys, let's make this one your best run yet!" The exhausted band poured their heart and soul (and probably some sweat) into that last, short little run.

Panting and dripping sweat, they stood triumphant, waiting for the director to give them the okay to go and get rehydrated.

Staring up at the podium, they waited.

And waited.

And then—"Alright, let's do it _one_ more time!"

--This story was based almost entirely on true events--

The moral of the story (if there is one...) is:

a.) Band directors don't always keep their promises.

b.) Band directors tell you to do things "one more time" waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many times.

c.) Temperature and exhaustion mean nothing to the director until someone passes out.

d.) All of the above.

If you chose d, you are correct! For your prize, you get to submit a review at the end of the chapter (or not...it's not like I'm in charge of your free will...).

**Band Parents:** Ah, band parents; they're always there for you, even when you don't want them to be. They're incredibly amazing, though.

They're also incredibly misplaced by being in this chapter; they're too great to be "little." They keep track of the band budget, buy you nice, cold treats during band camp, and come to football games for the sole purpose of seeing you perform.

Not to mention the fact that your parents are the ones who pay your band fees…

Every band has to have its groupies. Marching band groupies are the band parents; they're tougher, cooler, and more intense than _regular_ groupies. Even if your band stinks, they'll be there for you.

Parents are amazing, though. They supported you when you decided to play an incredibly loud, obnoxious instrument, didn't they? What is that if not dedication (or a sign of chronic deafness…)?

Band parents: making you feel loved even if you stink (not literally, though. If you smell, they'll most likely tell you to take a bath).

**Section Parties:** A lot of sections plan some sort of party (or more than one, in a lot of cases) where they go to breakfast/lunch/dinner, watch a movie, or convene upon the house of some poor member of the section. They are a time for the section to bond, and to go over crazy ideas and memories.

You can go completely nuts (although it's advisable to try to avoid getting kicked out of your restaurant/fast food joint of choice if you're eating out).

Section parties are a lot of fun. Examples (taken mostly from this year's trip to Taco Bell):

-Getting incredibly strange looks from the lady at the cash register as you and your friend dig through the packets of sauce, hoping to find on that says "Will you marry me?"

-Both of you finding one, and going to give it to the assistant director, who was also there eating.

-Having her reject my male friend's proposal, and accept mine. I thought she would snort her drink out her nose when we proposed.

-Trying to land a penny on the yellow spinny thing at the counter, even though you don't win anything with a penny.

…yeah…section parties are FUN!

So, in short, band is _great_! If you're in band, you know what I mean. If you're not, but you're thinking about it, join (they give your soul back eventually...I think...). If you're not in band, why are you even reading this?

With band, life is good. You make friends and memories, and you have a legitimate excuse for not doing your homework (not that your teachers care). If you follow all of this wonderful advice, you should be well on your way to thriving in marching band.

But, as your director always says, marching band is a _team effort, _which means you have to make sure everybody else is thriving too.

Good luck!

* * *

Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
